Look What I found!

Yesterday, Monday the 20th, was New Moon in Cancer, the second one this year. The first was the New Moon Eclipse on June 21. I always feel when there are two New Moons in the same sign, that I need to pay attention. And right on cue, I have found it intense.

This moon is asking “Are you willing to take an honest look at your relationship with yourself, with others, and change what needs to be changed?”

Light at the End of the Tunnel

We are being challenged and given the space to be introspective about how we deal with the challenges in our lives and with the people in our lives. We are being given the opportunity to “see” our behavior patterns in different situations and how they benefit us. Whether we deem those patterns to be negative or positive, there is always a payoff – a benefit.

I’ve been feeling this New Moon energy for a week now. One of my major patterns has been thrown in my face more than once – I seem to need repetition to bring in awareness, which always the first step. It’s not my first awareness of this pattern, but like I said – repetition. There were different scenarios, eliciting different behaviours on my part, but the payoff was the same.

For me, this New Moon is about ferreting out fear, becoming aware of how I deal with it, how it controls my life, and understanding the benefits of my behavior patterns.

So, here is my biggest pattern:

  • Be confronted with something that brings up fear (sometimes I don’t even feel the fear, but it’s there)
  • Behavior pattern – eat something that I know is going to cause a problem in my body
  • Payoff – pain and the excuse to not deal with the fear, or do whatever has raised the fear

I have made great progress, but it still has control. I worked on it last week and will continue to seek out the crooks and crannies where I’ve buried it for the next 5 months – the rest of Eclipse season. I’m peeling off the layers. Some of it isn’t even mine. It’s the fear behind the pattern I’m working on, and there seems to be lifetimes of it.

So, how am I working through this?

  • First is awareness – of the pattern, of what triggered the pattern and the payoff.
  • Second, I work on healing and letting go of the fear. As a formal session, I use Learning Path Integrated Technique, Holy Fire® Reiki and Pendulum. Informally, I remove certain foods from my diet, or try to. When I feel the fear in any form – overwhelm, anxiety, panic, anger (its base is fear), I recognize it, acknowledge it, often out loud. “I know you, I recognize you. I don’t need you anymore. Thank you for all you have done for me (it has been protecting me, you know, from whatever it perceives as dangerous) but I need to face this.  Goodbye.” Or words to that effect. Then I might do some yoga, some breathing exercises, or a short meditation. I would ground myself, because fear will un-ground me.
  • Then, I look at the trigger. What situation had me going into fear? How can I deal with that situation differently, in a way that I can handle now. I take the first step. One step at a time, without looking further than that, is not so scary.
  • Lastly, I acknowledge and celebrate the changes, however small. The payoff moves from being safe, to moving forward.

That is my process in a nutshell. If you are going to accept the challenge this New Moon, have some fun with it. Find opportunities to laugh about your patterns. It’s serious, but you can still laugh about it. “Look what I found. I’ve been giving this power all these years. Isn’t that hilarious? Let’s have some fun changing it!”

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